And with a single envelope, our family’s future has changed…

Whomever wished us luck over St. Patrick’s Day weekend – thank you!  No, we weren’t lucky with the house search.  We were outbid AGAIN for a great place!!!  For a great three bedroom outside of Coolidge Corner!!!  Emma could’ve gone to Devotion School!!!  Ughhhhhhhh…..

The Boston Public School lottery results arrived that weekend.  And whether it was Irish luck, or because someone randomly pulled a government connection we didn’t realize we had, both Emma and Bree got into good public schools.  Emma got into the Josiah Quincy school in Chinatown, and Bree got into an Early Education Center/Pre-K program about a mile from our house (essentially free daycare!).   This news should have been met with pure happiness, as this is the luckiest thing that’s happened to us in some time.  Maybe it’s because the school search has been such an emotional rollercoaster or maybe just because I’m me, I freaked out.  Immediately, I assumed that Patrick would call off the house hunt, and sure enough, he had the audacity to suggest that we wait another year to buy to save up more cash.  I started to panic about staying here another year, and whether I did the right thing putting Quincy down for Emma instead of the Early Education Center or the Lyon School…Once cooler heads prevailed, we both agreed that we’d still look for a new place.  Now that we have a decent school solution for the girls, we are no longer desperate buyers.  Just very, very eager buyers.  We have time to wait for just the right place.  We could even consider buying something in Boston, where we would get a lot more for our money.  And while I’m not sure that one year will really help all that much in terms of saving money, we hope that our child care costs will go down at least a little.

Like many parents with children still in full-time daycare, we didn’t realize that care for school age children is still really expensive.  There’s before school care (Emma’s new school starts at 9:20 – what’s up with that???), after school care (most schools are out by 2:30/3:30 p.m.), summer camp (no, I’m not talking the situation I always dreamed about growing up – sleepaway camp in a mountain cabin retreat for the summer – I’m talking about the weekday “camps” working parents drop their kids off at over the summer), school vacation camps, etc.  I can practically hear you parents with school age children giggling at my naiveté.   Not to mention the million holidays schools are closed, snow days, sick days….come to think of it, school is only required to open 180 days a year….I’m no math major, but even I know that is less than half a year.  When I combine that with the fact that most people have to work more than five hours a day, I tend to believe that our current system is set up against working parents.

And if we do move into Brookline or Newton, we will have missed the deadline to sign up for before and after school care anyway.  A mom I met at Ballet on Saturday asked me why I didn’t JUST SIGN UP for before and after care in Brookline, and tell the schools that I’d be moving there soon…I had to explain that I don’t even live in Brookline, I live in Boston.  If they didn’t really check on residency, wouldn’t everyone try signing up???  Apparently she signed up for all SEVEN programs offered by Brookline even though she still hasn’t closed on the apartment they just bought.  Hmmmph!  One nice surprise about the Boston Public School system is that there are people working at the schools called City Connects Student Coordinators whose job it is to support families, including helping parents navigate care options.  While I was in the midst of my freak out, this really nice woman emailed me and Patrick with a few options for Emma including a before school orchestra where she could learn to play violin or cello.

I am quickly coming to the one conclusion I’ve been dreading – we are going to have to get a babysitter.   I will not detail here my feelings about leaving one person alone with my children for extended periods of time, but I will openly admit that I have NEVER had someone unrelated to me by blood or marriage watch my children outside of group day care for longer than 20 minutes.   And there’s a reason for that.  How much would it cost to install Nanny Cam in every room?  Plus, my house is the saddest place on earth, and I hate having to subject my children to it, much less inviting a stranger into the chaos.

But it is what it is, and while I know I’m not the first parent to struggle with this issue, I do wish I had known all this going in.  Perhaps I would’ve chosen a different career path or would’ve saved money more wisely.  Luckily, I don’t have to figure it all out tonight, sir, so I’m just gonna hang with my daughters.  Note to Patrick:  that’s a play on a movie quote.  But in the meantime, it’s good to know I don’t have to break out my old waitressing apron anytime soon to pay for private school tuition.  And that if we don’t find the perfect place to live by the Fall, it’s not going to be the end of the world.

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